Limbo

Bloody Aida....not this again. Blank mind, blank cheque, blank black book, blank it out. I am like chemtrailing, criss crossing my blue sky mind with doubt. Manipulating my own weather storms, looking at a whirlpool and thinking of jumping, praying for a shower over a bushfire, sitting in a pool of wet paint on a canvas hoping that i get stuck to it and someone discovers my value, hangs me on a wall to get shredded with gold by the highest bidder and end up locked in a hermetically sealed bank vault. Just my luck I think? To end up a living work of art wrapped in plastic and consigned to a life time locked in a vault. Who put me there but myself. Well I tell you something...I got a key. I am going to release myself. Seems like we put ourselves in our own position according to the patterns that we set. I'm tired of the patterns that have led me to believe I'm not good enough, or I can't sell, or my painting is mediocre. From now on I am abundant, I work hard because I know i become more skilled with every brush stroke and that with every brushstroke I find more joy, more delight in dexterity, more laughter at mistakes, more knowing that its alright, it just flows of its own will, its own energy and even though there is struggle in its making, struggle with doubt, composition, direction, technique in the end it is only complete when you can run your eye over the whole surface knowing that you've taken out everything that irritated you. Then you can let it go. To walk its own path, observing, delighting, sobbing and laughing with the energy of the preceeding patterns being causal to the arising of the moment now.

Welcome to this moment. I am glad you are with me. Let go of everything in your life that irritates you, set a new, joyous pattern and delight in the arising.

(Slideshow of Drawings from my notebook 1978)